35 Things I’ve Learned in 35 Years

I woke up this morning with an unbridled urge to become one of those people who type out rolling lists of advice to total strangers on the internet. I believe this marks the true beginning of my mid-life crisis. Thank you in advance for your support and understanding during this time.

This list has no clear order, nor does it have a goal. It’s a stream of consciousness post full of unsolicited advice, life lessons, and rants from someone who isn’t quite as accomplished as Sun Tzu, or Marcus Aurelius, or even my friend Tal Benisty who inspired this idea.

Enjoy it anyway.

1. Be skeptical of restaurants that have more than 50 items on their menu. I can guarantee that 60% of them are total nonsense.
2. Be skeptical of restaurants that use more than 5 fonts on their menu. Attention to detail and coherence are not strengths of this establishment.
3. Double check the spelling of someone’s name when you write to them. It’s a simple thing to get right, and also one of the most frustrating things to see when you get it wrong.
4. On names, it’s okay to ask how to pronounce someone’s name if it’s unfamiliar to you. I once had to correct a CEO during a meeting for mispronouncing his Indian co-founder’s name constantly. They had worked together for 3 years. I thought that was ridiculous.
5. Always take the longer, more scenic route. Your memories will thank you. Do not apply this to emergencies.
6. Trust your gut—it’s the best decision-making instrument available to you. Whether you’re debating to leave the house in search of fresh donuts at 3 a.m., or to leave your job and move to a new continent with your partner, just trust your damn gut.
7. Fill your life with people you can have intellectually stimulating conversations with. Small talk friendships are too exhausting to sustain.
8. The more stories you tell, the better you get at telling stories. The more times you tell the same story, the better you get at telling that story effectively. Moral of the story: tell more stories, and tell them often.
9. Find and make time for activities that you can do by yourself and with others. Gaming, cooking, cycling, painting, whatever. It’s helpful to have the flexibility of doing things you enjoy with or without friends.
10. If you haven’t yet tasted a mangosteen, you haven’t truly lived.
11. Write handwritten notes or letters or cards and give them to people who matter to you. Emails get lost. Phones get wiped. People tend to hold on to physical artefacts for years. In the era we live in, handwritten notes can feel like diamonds.
12. Save your money and learn to invest it. I started way too late, and I still don’t really know what I’m doing, but it’s nice to have a bit of a financial cushion to fall back on.
13. It’s never too late to start reading more books.
14. Not everyone who is older than you is wiser that you. Wisdom and age have no correlation.
15. More people suffer from imposter syndrome than you think. Almost every person I know has felt like an imposter at some point in their life or career. Go easy on yourself and others.
16. Eat chips out of the bag with a chopstick. Game changer.
17. Save up to eat at a really fancy restaurant once in a while.
18. There’s absolutely no value to living with regret. Learn from your mistakes. Apologise. Let go of the past. Move on. Be present.
19. Be there for people when they need you.
20. However, don’t expect that others will be there for you when you need them. Be grateful for the ones that are, but don’t rely on something that’s completely out of your control.
21. The most difficult thing you’ve done in your life will inevitably be eclipsed by a newer most difficult thing you’ve done in your life. Face difficulty knowing fully that it is just preparation for future challenges. I learned this from a 10 year old at a children’s cancer hospital.
22. Pets have the power to change your life in unexpected ways. Adopt one if you can.
23. Surprise an old friend by texting them out of the blue. It’s always nice to know that someone is thinking about you.
24. Exercise and “getting in shape” isn’t just about aesthetics. It’s a way out of depression, and a massive boost to your productivity and focus.
25. Consistency is the bedrock of building habits. Start small. Stay steady. Small daily victories, performed with consistency over time will lead to revolutionary results.
26. Solitude is a great teacher. Togetherness is a great healer.
27. If you get the chance to, travel. It doesn’t have to be international, it doesn’t have to even be far. Get out of your bubble and comfort zone as often as you can. Traveling to new places and meeting new people have consistently helped challenge my beliefs and shift my world view.
28. “But now, by saying what his future was going to be like, he had created it” — The Pearl by John Steinbeck.
    I have, over time, come to truly believe in the power of manifestation. Thoughts and ideas put out into the ether, dropped into conversations, shared with close friends and strangers, all eventually yield fruit.
29. Spend more time with things and people that give you a lot of joy. Spend less time with things and people that don’t. Obvious, yes, but rarely implemented well.
30. Every once in a while, do something that feels completely bonkers. If things don’t scare you, you probably aren’t growing.
31. Never say no to dessert.
32. Never say no to your partner’s guilty pleasures (especially dessert).
33. Be wary of people who compile lists of free advice on the internet.
34. Wear sunscreen. I started at age 34.
35. Life has tremendous value. Don’t ever entertain the idea of giving it up.